COME AND SEE

Wisdom from the Cornell Legacy Project and the Gospel

Fr Luke A Veronis

Come and see. One of the simplest yet most profound invitations in all Scripture. Come and see. Two disciples approach Jesus, searching, longing, hoping for something and the Lord turns to Andrew and invites him: “Come and see.”

Those three words changed Andrew’s life. They change the life of anyone who accepts the invitation to the church. They can change the world. And they are spoken as an invitation to each of us today to change us.

We are all on a journey as seekers in one way or another. We seek purpose. We seek love. We seek healing. We seek meaning. Deep down, we seek our Creator, the Eternal One. And Christ responds to our searching and longing not with a lecture or a command but with a gentle, welcoming invitation – Come and See.

I think of this divine invitation and compare it to a podcast my daughter, Panayiota, recently put on our family chat about Karl Pillemer, a professor of gerontology at Cornell University and his Legacy Project. This 20-year research project interviewed more than 1000 people over their 70s and gathered their advice and wisdom for younger generations.

“What do you regret? What do you wish you understood earlier? What advice would you give the next generation?”

What struck me was their answers were not complicated. They weren’t about success, money, achievements, or status. They offered simple and profoundly spiritual wisdom echoing almost exactly what our Orthodox Christian faith has taught for centuries. It is as if the accumulated experience of life brings a person right to the feet of Christ’s teachings, hearing again the invitation: “Come and see.”

I’ll share some of the wisdom from this Legacy Project and show the connection to the wisdom from our spiritual tradition.

Takeaway #1: “Relationships are everything.”

Toward the end of life, the elderly said nothing matters more than the relationships we have with people we love. Life’s deepest meaning doesn’t come from our careers, any awards we received, our status in society or the material possessions we amass. Loving relationships form the center of life.

Isn’t that the central message of the Gospel? Andrew didn’t follow an idea but entered into a relationship, into communion with God Himself. And Christ emphasized the greatest commandments in life are to love God and to love our neighbor. Love forms the essence of life.

Takeaway #2: “Say the important things now.”

So many older people regretted not telling “the people I loved how much they meant to me. I wish I had expressed love more frequently, forgiven sooner and reconciled with one another when relationships were broken.”

To love, forgive, and reconcile makes up the Christian life. We are a faith of constant repentance, turning back toward God and one another in reconciliation, and offering unconditional love. “Now is the acceptable time,” the Apostle Paul highlights.

Takeaway #3: “Don’t waste your life worrying.”

One elder said, “If I could reclaim all the hours I wasted worrying, I’d live an extra lifetime.” ‘Of course, this reflects Jesus’ advice “Do not be anxious about tomorrow” or Saint Paul’s words “do not worry about anything but with prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God, and the peace of God that passes all understanding will reign in your heart.” Don’t waste years of your life worrying about things out of your control.

Takeaway #4: “Forgive. Resentment is poison.”

The elderly highlighted that one’s unwillingness to forgive shrinks one’s heart and wastes away your years. Resentment doesn’t hurt anyone but the one who holds on to their bitterness. Our faith teaches us to humbly turn to the one who has hurt us and offer words of forgiveness freely that will release us from the prison of resentment. Just as Christ called out from the Cross, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do,” we are to offer the same forgiveness which will bring freedom, newness of life, and salvation.

Takeaway #5: “Choose meaningful work, not just money.”

The elderly reflected on the purpose of work and realized over the years one’s deepest satisfaction came not from work that simply made a lot of money but from work that offered meaning, purpose, service and help to others.

Our Orthodox calling is not toward wealth but toward holiness. A meaningful life is the beautiful life.

Takeaway #6: “Treasure the simple moments.”

The Legacy Project noted life’s beauty in ordinary things - meals with family, quiet conversations with friends, every day acts of kindness.

This is profoundly Orthodox. God is present in the every day here and now, in the humble and simple actions and people in front of us at the present moment.

Takeaway #7: “Always be grateful.”

Gratitude transforms everything. Gratitude toward everything, small and great, reflects the most important habit that leads toward happiness. Of course, our faith is eucharistic and our life should be one of continual thanksgiving. Gratitude opens up our eyes to the beauty of God all around us while ingratitude blinds us to God’s presence.

Takeaway #8: “Take advantage of opportunities by saying yes to life.”

The elderly said one of the things they regretted most was when they didn’t take advantage of the opportunities that life brought them. At the end of their life they felt they didn’t do all they could have done.

The Apostle Andrew heard “Come and see,” and responded “yes.” The saints’ lives are full of holy risks – hearing God’s invitation, trusting Him while stepping out of our comfort zone, and pursuing virtue and truth boldly.

Takeaway #9: “Serving others brings the greatest joy.”

Over and over again, the elderly repeated that serving others brought the deepest joy and greatest purpose in life. Life isn’t about focusing on oneself but on others. Of course, Christ taught how it is more blessed to give than to receive. Our Orthodox life is one of self-emptying, sacrificing, and serving others. Remember, we follow the One who washed the feet of His followers.

Takeaway #10: “It’s never too late to change or try something new.”

Even in their 80s and 90s, people told the researchers, “Some of the most important growth in my life happened at this latter stage of life.” They suggested that someone is never too old to learn and grow.

Of course, our faith teaches us that we are on a never ending journey into union with our Infinite God. We never stay the same in a life of faith. God has given us His Divine imprint and we can never say we have fully arrived. Thus, positive change is always possible and desirable till the end of our lives.

Let me share a story from the Legacy Project that captures this beautifully. A woman in her 90s told the interviewers: “I spent the first 70 years of my life thinking the purpose of life was achievement. I worked, I saved, I climbed the ladder, I checked all the boxes. And then my husband died suddenly. And I sat at the kitchen table alone, realizing I had built a life full on the outside and empty on the inside. I had time but I had no relationships. I had money but I had no purpose.

So, at age 70, I changed. I started volunteering. I visited people who were sick or lonely. I joined a church. I started praying. I started forgiving. I began saying yes to life. And now, at 90, I am more alive than I ever was.”

Then she said something stunning: “If I could speak to my younger self, I would say: Come and see what truly matters.”

That sure sounds like Christ speaking through her. That’s St. Andrew’s words echoing in her story. That’s the Gospel revealed through human experience.

Come and see what life is when relationships are treasured.

Come and see what love can do when forgiveness is given freely.

Come and see how gratitude can transform your heart.

Come and see how serving others fills your soul with joy.

Come and see that it is not too late to change, to grow, to become holy.

Come and see that Christ Himself is the meaning of life.

May each of us respond with the same and simple YES to Christ’s invitation to come and see, allowing Him to reveal to us all the wisdom that these elderly offered in the Legacy Project, and not wait until the end of our lives to live life to its fullest and deepest meaning!