LORD, I AM NOT WORTHY

LORD, I AM NOT WORTHY

Fr. Luke Veronis

There are a few people in the Gospels who amaze Jesus. Sometimes Jesus is amazed by people's lack of faith, especially among his disciples and the people of God. In today's Gospel, however, Jesus is amazed in a positive way by the faith of a Roman centurion. An outsider. A foreigner. A soldier. A stranger who displayed a faith he didn’t find in all of Israel.

His faith reminds me of something Archbishop Anastasios once said. “Many people label themselves as agnostics or unbelievers, but who knows? Perhaps some of them may actually be closer to God than many of us.”

This spirit is what we see in this Roman officer, who approaches Jesus and asks for help. "Lord, my servant is lying paralyzed at home, in terrible distress.”

 Immediately, Jesus responds with concern and compassion: "I will come and heal him." Jesus is always ready to come to us. He is always ready to enter into our struggles, our pain, and our brokenness.

But the centurion goes on to say something extraordinary: "Lord, I’m not worthy to have you come under my roof; but only say the word, and my servant will be healed."

Imagine. Jesus wants to go to this man’s home and the centurion says that’s not necessary because he feels unworthy! Remember who this man is. He’s not a Jew. He’s not a part of Jesus’ inner circle. He’s a part of the enemy; an officer of great authority; a commander of one hundred soldiers. He’s powerful, respected in his army, and influential. People obey his orders. Yet when he stands before Jesus, he doesn’t boast about his position. He doesn’t try to demand his wishes. Instead, he simply says, "Lord, I’m not worthy."

This is the language of humility. The centurion understands something that many people never understand. He realizes that before God, none of us stand on the basis of our achievements, our titles, our success, or even our religious accomplishments.

Before God, we stand only before His mercy. Do you realize that in every Divine Liturgy we repeat the very words of the centurion? Right before Holy Communion we pray, "I believe and confess Lord … I am not worthy that You should enter under the roof of my soul." The Church places these words of the centurion on our own lips in hopes that we may imitate and discover his humility.

Remember, our soul is the house that Christ desires to enter. Yet, we should recognize our unworthiness and hope solely in His mercy. And paradoxically, it’s precisely such humility that makes us worthy for God’s grace to enter.

Yet, such humility is so difficult to attain precisely because our ego listens to the world’s advice. The world says, "Promote yourself. Believe in yourself. Assert yourself." The Gospel contradicts this by teaching, "Blessed are the poor in spirit."

The world says, "You deserve it.” The Gospel reminds us to "Receive everything as a gift."

The world says, "Be proud.” Holy Scriptures say, "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble."

Humility is difficult because our ego wants to be important. Our ego wants recognition. Our ego wants to feel superior.

The centurion, however, realizes he has no need to prove himself. He knows who he is before God. And through his humility, his heart becomes a vessel capable of receiving Divine Grace.

So, how do we cultivate such humility in our hearts? Humility won’t come to us automatically. It must be cultivated, like a garden. We must take care and nourish this spirit. So, let me suggest five things we can do.

First, every day remember who God is. The centurion understood the greatness of Christ. When we truly encounter the majesty, holiness, and love of God, our pride melts away. When the Prophet Isaiah saw the Lord seated upon His throne of glory, he immediately cried out, "Woe is me! I am a man of unclean lips from an unclean people."

Every saint understood that no matter how holy they became, when they stood before God they were nothing. Our goodness can never compare to the Goodness of God. Every righteous person realized that they closer they came to God, the more they understood that every good and perfect gift comes from God alone, an everything is a gift.

Second, let gratitude replace comparison. Pride always survives on comparison. “I am more faithful than that person, more disciplined, more knowledgeable, or better.” The antidote is not self-criticism but gratitude, which keeps our eyes on what God has given rather than on how we measure against our neighbor. Gratitude has no interest in rankings. It simply receives and expresses thanksgiving to the ultimate Giver of Life.

Third, learn to serve others. Pride asks, "Who will serve me?" while Humility asks, "Whom can I serve?" Notice that the centurion comes to Jesus not for himself but for his servant. In Roman society, servants were often treated as property. But this centurion loves and cares for his servant. He intercedes for him.

Humility always expresses itself in love. Saint John Chrysostom says that if you wish to honor Christ, do not ignore Him when He is suffering in the poor and the needy. Whenever we serve another person, our ego shrinks and our heart expands.

Fourth, practice repentance. Repentance is the school of humility. Every confession is an act of humility. Every time we go to the Sacrament of Confession and name out loud the ways we turn away from God, we are humbled. Whenever we say, "Lord, have mercy," we acknowledge our need for God. Pride says, "I have no need to change” while Humility says, "Lord, heal me."

The saints repented without ceasing because the closer they came to God, the more clearly they saw their own sinfulness and their need for His great mercy.

Fifth, practice obedience in small things. The centurion's humility was forged, in part, by a lifetime inside a structure of authority — he knew what it was to submit to orders, not just give them. When we keep small disciplines we don’t feel like keeping — finishing your prayers when we’re tired, fasting when no one else is, deferring to a spouse or another when we’d rather have our way — we are training the muscle of humility. Humility is not learned in theory but in practice, in small moments when others don’t even notice.

When the centurion said “I’m not worthy” he became worthy. Every time we lower ourselves, Christ will lift us up. And as we empty ourselves, Christ is ready to fill us with His Spirit. This is the mystery of our Christian life. The way up is down. The way to greatness is humility. The way to life is self-emptying love.

So, every Sunday when we say our prayers before Holy Communion, remember that we are repeating the centurion's words - "Lord, I am not worthy that You should enter under the roof of my soul, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed."

And as we cultivate this spirit of humility that recognizes our unworthiness, let us trust completely in Christ's mercy, and open our hearts to receive His healing grace.

"Lord, I’m not worthy. Just say the word and I’ll believe."